Today Was Quite The Day

So I recently started a new job with the state of Arizona as a Track Maintenance crew member for the soon to open light rail. I am really enjoying the job and the guys that I work with are great. Today we were doing the monthly inspection of all the manual-throw switches in the train storage yard. There are thirty switches and it is a day-long process which I really enjoy. I was working with a guy named Steve and we were banging out the inspections and having a great time doing it when we overheard a very funny transmission over the radio. Apparently, as tests of the light rail track were being performed, the operator of one of the trains involved with the testing reported a dead cat lying on one of the tracks. Since we are in the Track Maintenance department, a transmission went out over the radio asking us to remove the dead cat from the track. Steve and I jumped into our work vehicle and headed over to where the dead cat was reported as being seen.

When Steve and I arrived on the scene, there was the dead cat in all its glory. It was agreed upon that I would scoop up the dead cat with a shovel and Steve would hold a garbage bag open for me to place the cat in. That is when the jokes started. "Here kitty kitty kitty", I said as we approached the dismembered and disfigured cat. "Dude that is hilarious!", said Steve. "For a cat, he sure can play dead really well", I continued. Steve replied that was true and that the cat could play dead better than his dog, even if the cat's guts were coming out of its sides. By this time, we had reached the cat and began to attempt to carry out our plan. "Dude, the cat is too stiff to fold up and scoop onto the shovel!", I exclaimed to Steve. "Help me out, man". Steve put his foot down and pushed the cat (okay forced the cat) onto the shovel and I placed it into the garbage bag.

As we walked back to our truck, Steve asked if I noticed whether or not the cat had a collar on. I stated that I did not see one and that is when Steve stated that he was naming the cat Skittles and that he was going to love him; to death!! I started laughing so hard I began to cry. I told Steve he was lucky he had a cat that was cheap to feed and didn't require vet visits. Man are we sick or what?!

So we get back to the train storage yard and drive over to our other coworkers, Bill and Carlos, and begin to show them Steve's new pet. We told them about the jokes we had made and they laughed and said we were some sick individuals. Steve told them what he named the cat and Carlos stated that Skittles was a fitting name for a cat that "has its f-ing guts coming out of its mouth". We all had a good laugh about that one. After the laughing had subsided, Steve and I drove over to where the dumpster is located to dispose of the now increasingly smelly cat.

We got to the dumpster and Steve stated that there was no way he was going to throw the raunchy cat into the dumpster and that I had to do it. I said that was fine and exited the truck to get the garbage bag containing Skittles. As I swung Skittles into the air and over the side of the dumpster where he landed with a dull thud I stated to Steve that Skittles was not a Siamese cat, but a Flyamese cat. We then continued to complete the switch inspections. So yeah, today was quite the day.